« PSYCHIATRISTS SAY Darth Vader is Borderline | Main | DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN: Almost 50% »

June 04, 2007


I am going through the same thing now with my son in Florida. His girlfriend got a domestic violence charge against him, called for him to come to her house, her mother called 911, son was arrested but also got a burglary charge because the family said he tried to break in the house. Now he has no money, a public defender who does nothing and has his life completely ruined. This happens in Florida every day to innocent men.

Oh, Relda. You must be feeling so angry and so sad, at the same time. And perhaps so powerless to help your son.

Borderlines do have enormous rage inside, rage that they should be directing at the people who hurt them in their childhood.

What happens is that in adulthood, they dump that rage on the people around them, especially their intimate partners.

You might call Harry Crouch, director of the California Mens' Center in San Diego (www.camenscenters.org), to see if he can offer any advice or guidance to help your son.

Harry works tirelessly on behalf of men who have been abused by their partners.

Keep us posted on what happens with your son.

Lynn Melville

I was falsely accused by my ex-girlfriend of hitting her and she only did this to get child support and custody of my son. I have had sole custody since 2001 and this happened in 2002 but my son still lives solely with me. My first lawyer was a perv and only wanted a date with my mom. The second took my money thinking that I actually had my ex's cooperation. I did not have the funds to take it totrial and was told it would be alot of money to take it to trial. I have kpt my story the same from day one but no one seems to care for anything except money. I have tried everything I know and am wits end on what to do. All I want is fair justice and to be able to be in the career I have always wanted. I just want to be able to provide for my children and not feel locked up with this against me. If there is anyone who can help or any way to get this resolved please let me know. Thanks!

Christopher, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Women making false accusations of domestic violence by men happens every day. When I'm coaching male partners of women with Borderline Personality Disorder, I warn them to be very careful about getting into situations where their female partner could accuse them of abuse. Unless there are witnesses, it's extremely hard for men to prove they didn't abuse the women. You ask for help, saying you can't afford legal fees. Is there a Legal Aid Society where you live? Or is there any agency that provides free legal aid to the needy? Or can you seek the advice of an attorney about your going to trial to remove the domestic violence guilty verdict, representing yourself without an attorney? Keep posting here. Those of us on this site care.

This has happened to my son and is a continuing frustration in our life. We keep logs, record phone calls, and take pictures. My grandson's mother is a very claulating and manipulative person. She sets up fake accounts, sends text messages that have no basis in reality to set my son up. It hurts sooo bad

Hello koman --

I'm sorry to hear your son's going through the same punishment and abuse campaign from a Borderline woman as have many other men.

Keep protecting yourself, your son and your grandson. After a while, the behavior sometimes gets less, when the Borderline person finds another partner.

Lynn Melville
Author, Boomerang Love

The comments to this entry are closed.