STOP MALE ABUSE

WHY SOCIETY THINKS Domestic Violence Toward Men Doesn't Exist

I was interviewed on April 25, 2007, by Chuck Baker of AM radio station KKKK in Colorado Springs.  We were discussing the recent murder of Rebecca Griego by an ex-boyfriend, who had long distance stalked her all the way to the University of Washington in Seattle. 

I was explaining the Borderline Personality Disorder person's intense fear of the loss of their loved one, leading to frantic efforts to avoid real -- or imagined -- abandonment.

Chuck is very interested in domestic violence -- especially DV against men.  I said that my daughter's college textbooks stated that only 2 percent of men were abused, while my current research is showing that it's really as high as 30 to 40 percent.

This brought Chuck to the point of anger that DV against men is not being addressed in this country.  What came out of my mouth at that point was a surprise to me, but yet is the absolute truth.

Why don't we know about DV against men -- and why aren't we helping them?  Because we haven't known it exists -- since men don't talk about it !!

I surprised myself with the simplicity of this truth.  Everything I've read says that men don't talk about the abuse they're receiving, because of their shame.  I personally know one man who confessed to me that his wife of 20 years will suddenly come at him with knives.  He grabs pillows off the couch to defend and protect himself.

How about it, guys?  Get an anonymous yahoo email address and begin posting here, so the world will know what's really happening out there.

STOP THE ABUSE: Sister Domestic Violence Blog

This blog is new and will evolve into a much-needed interactive site on a specific subject that needs a light shined on it -- domestic violence against men.

However, the blog I created in 2005 -- www.stoptheabuse.blogs.com -- has loads of helpful information regarding the overall subject of domestic violence.

If you're in a hurtful relationship, looking for answers, don't forget to visit this site's Sister Domestic Violence Blog.  Then come back and share your thoughts in a comment on this site.  Your observations might help someone else . . . .

WELCOME

Welcome to what I believe is the only blog on the Internet devoted to violence and abuse -- in all its many forms -- against men

When I wrote my book, Breaking Free from Boomerang Love -- Getting Unhooked from Abusive Borderline Relationships, I was surprised to see the domestic violence victims reaching for my book like a lifeline.  I had 'only' experienced emotional abuse, not physical, so I hadn't tied up the relationship of Borderline Personality Disorder with domestic violence. 

But I was soon educated, as the emails from domestic violence victims reading my book came flooding in.  And within that group was a significant number of men . . . men who had never spoken up before, as no one had validated their experiences.

Over the past year or so, I've become a Relationship Coach, helping people crawl out of these painful relationships.  Again, at least half of the people I've coached have been men -- good men, White Knight men, men who were altering their personal Code of Honor in choosing to leave their partners in order to save their sanity . . . and sometimes their very lives.

I've had a domestic violence blog up and running for some time now -- www.stoptheabuse.blogs.com.  It's now time to separate out the issues specifically relating to men in these painful relationships -- ones that they rarely tell anyone about, out of shame.

Welcome to a safe spot to share your experiences and comments.   

What do you think about creating a blog just for male abuse and violence?  Have you had experiences to share with us?  Let's make this a comfortable place to put up our feet, pop a cool one . . . and vent, grieve or support.